North Korea and madness go hand in hand. They have been making quite a name for themselves after they got their freedom from Japan. We took it upon ourselves to research them and bring to you the bizarre realities which makes North Korea click in day to day life.
It’s the year 104 in North Korea
It may be 2015 across the world but for NK, it’s still 104. The country counts the date from the birth of their ‘beloved’ leader, Kim il-sung, who got Korea its independence from Japan. Kim’s family has ruled this ‘democracy’ ever since.
When Kim il-sung died in 1994, the constitution of North Korea was changed to make him Eternal President of the Republic, effectively making him the first dead person to rig the elections.
North Korea has a fake city to attract defectors
North Korea is separated from South Korea by a DMZ, a heavily guarded Demilitarized Zone. There is a village on each side of the DMZ, which were constructed with the goal of showing off the country’s flag and prosperity to the other side. But the sanity and the similarity ends there.
While South Korea’s village is an actual place where ‘real’ people live, North Korea has gone the ‘Fake it until you make it’ route. The village of North Korea which seems normal from a distance is nothing but a propaganda city. A closer look at the city reveals houses with no windows, no activities or peeps in sight. Even the lights are automated and are switched on at a particular time of the day.
The city also has loud speakers which blast anti-western rhetoric for 20 hours everyday. The only human movement which occurs comes from maintenance workers who are dispatched to sweep the streets at times. But hey, at least they have a flag pole which is higher than South Korea’s.
The only country with Demo’crazy’ Dictatorship
North Korea boasts of 99.9% voting and considers itself a democracy. Elections occur every 5 years, but there is only one name on the ballot… and that is of Kim Jong Un. Of course, you have a choice to reject the candidate, but can only do when you disclose your identity.
Some experts think that there is a sinister reason to this madness. Since age nor illness is a legit excuse for not coming out to vote, the election also serves as a means to keep track of people who have defected. With the North Korea rule of punishing three generations for serious crimes, it acts as a preventive mechanism for people who want to desperately get out of the country.
North Korea claims copyright on hamburgers
According to a North Korean newspaper, hamburgers were created by Kim Jong Il, the grandfather of the current leader, Kim Jong Un. The newspaper even goes on to mention that Kim Jong Il created ‘double bread with meat’ before American imperialists stole it from him.
This idea in itself seems ridiculous to us, but North Koreans are totally convinced. Take Miss Kim for example, who came in contact with a journalist from Great Britain. She swears by the creation of hamburgers by North Korea… but then again, she also believes that Lady Gaga is a man, and that unicorns really exist (more on that below).
Unicorn’s lair is in North Korea
Well of course, if there are unicorns then it has to be North Korea where they settle down. At least, according to the official news agency of Korea.
The agency claims that not only the archaeologists of North Korea have discovered the unicorns, but also that the unicorns were ridden by the ancient king of Korea… Presumably after interviewing the unicorns who told them that they were also responsible for the ‘double rainbow’ on the birth of Kim Jong-Il.
Kidnapping famous director to kick-start their movie industry
Crazy is in the bloodline of the Kim’s family as demonstrated by the grandfather of Kim Jong Un. When North Korea wanted to boost the entertainment industry of the country, they took the logical step of kidnapping Shing Sang-ok, a famous director of South Korea, and his wife.
It all started when Shing’s wife went missing in Hong Kong. Many people blamed Shing for the disappearance, which led him to travel to the country to find his wife. However, Shing was also abducted from Hong Kong and was forced to make movies for North Korea.
The couple was only able to escape when they were sent to Vienna to attend a film festival, presumably after pinky swearing to stay in North Korea. North Korea soon found out that people often lie when held hostage, as the couple used this opportunity to seek political asylum in the US.
Despite the now separated couple coming out on many occasions to tell their story, North Korea still believes that the couple was kidnapped by the US to prevent NK from releasing their glorious rip-off of Godzilla.
Anyone can visit North Korea… even if they are from America
Anyone can visit North Korea, though they are forced to have a tour guide with them at all times. As Vice discovered, you would be followed by a ‘guard, guide and a secret police’ and will most likely have one hotel to stay in. The hotel is bugged, the tour guide has no problem in cursing America (even if you are an American), and the entire tour of the country is just one big Truman Show.
Take for example the girl ‘pretending’ to type on the computer. This is an actual destination of the ‘propaganda’ tour. These girls are supposed to portray North Korea as a modern country. While the journalist over here was able to capture the deceit, it’s recommended not to, especially if you are a westerner.
Every house is fitted with government radio which can’t be turned off
According to a BBC documentary, all the homes and business establishments of North Korea have a radio which plays the government channel all the time. The radio doesn’t have an off button! You can only turn the volume up or down. There have been also instances of brainwashed citizens even giving up their lives to save the ‘portraits’ of their beloved leader.
Kim Jong Un has cured Cancer, AIDS and Ebola
What the likes of John Hopkins University and Harvard couldn’t do, has been done by Kim Jong Un and only in a matter of days. A report published by Korean Central News Agency claims that they have developed a complex injectable solution capable of curing Ebola, cancer and AIDS. North Korea just doesn’t feel gracious enough to share the miracle with the rest of the world.
‘North Korea is the second happiest place to be in’ – North Korea
North Korea has claimed itself as the second happiest place to be, with the numero uno position going to China. It’s no surprise that the US gets the last spot. Despite numerous reports of North Koreans resorting to cannibalism, the propaganda unit of North Korea just doesn’t know when to call it quits.
Cars are not for common people
In North Korea, a normal person isn’t allowed to own a car, much less have any choice in the variants. It seems rather strange, but the brutal reality of the country is that only the government officials / influential people have the right to own a car. The rest of the population has to use public transport for their daily affairs. Maybe, they are doing their people a favor, as North Korea cars look like this.
North Korea lives in a bubble
North Koreans claim to have a high literacy rate, a fact which even the CIA confirms. Still, the brainwashing and the fear of punishment by the government has ensured that there are almost no civil protests or democratic movements which take place in the country.
The children are exposed to the propaganda from an early age, and in due time develop a hatred toward western culture ensuring that we get blamed for everything wrong in their life. The strict restrictions on cell phones and radio ensures that people while educated are not informed enough.
Maybe, that’s the reason why North Koreans cried rivers when Kim Jong Il died… or was it because they were afraid of prosecution? See the video and decide for yourself.