We all have had our share of drunk stories, some of which were awesome while others… not so much. But stories from these people top it in ways which we think can’t be matched by normal peeps. Below are some of the best drunk stories that will make yours seem a little less embarrassing…
Women tries to wear a cheeseburger
Imagine the reaction of someone watching you bend down and put your foot in a cheeseburger, thinking it to be your shoe. This was the scene witnessed by the police officers when they confronted a couple having sex in a public place.
A heavily intoxicated couple in Atlanta, Georgia was making out in the truck when a stranger called the police, reporting the indecent act. The cops didn’t charge the couple with indecent act as they were doing it inside their truck, parked on the back of the lot. But nevertheless asked them to put on their clothes and step out of their vehicle for questioning and identification.
It was at this time when the girl, Rachel Gossett (who was found to have a BAC level of 0.21, three times more than the legal limit), tried to put a cheeseburger on her foot thinking it to her sandal. Presumably, getting annoyed every time the “shoe” didn’t slip on.
Drunk father misspells his son’s name
We have to give it to Tom Moffatt for loving his son and having all the right intentions. He tried to DIY his son’s name as a tattoo on his forearms. The problem… he was heavily drunk when he made that decision.
The drunk dad proceeded to put his son’s name and nickname on him via the tattoo gun, only to get them wrong in the end. Moffatt, in his overconfidence misspelled his son’s name as “Ripey,” instead of “Riley.” And while for most, that should have been enough of a sign to use the tattoo gun on a sober day, it wasn’t for Moffatt. As he proceeded to scratch his kid’s nickname “Sonny Boy” on his arm, only to misspell it as “Sony Boy.”
Moffatt, 27, is now going through horrible pain to get some of the tattoos removed. The britisher and his wife have also started campaigning against the sale of tattoo guns, as they believe that anyone could commit mistakes like Moffatt. And then need to go for painful and expensive laser removal of them.
Meanwhile, his son has presumably decided not to ever take help of his dad for spelling bee contests.
Prisoners “break-in” after getting drunk
Five prison inmates of Australia learned the hard way what alchohol confidence means. These prisoners escaped out of the jail, only to get drunk and break back in.
And they would have gotten away with it, if it had not been for a fight between them over a mobile phone. When the authorities broke the shuffle, the guards realized that the prisoners were drunk, leading to further investigation. The CCTV recording were studied where 4 of these prisoners were caught jumping the fence.
The prisoners were then searched and the authorities found five mobile phones, a small quantity of a ‘green leafy substance’, tobacco and rolling papers. Soon after, they were transferred to maximum security prison. We are not sure if this incident was because of the alcohol or the prison being in Australia!
Drunk woman goes topless in flight
Kristin Sharp would have been the perfect candidate for our “shocking passenger stories,” had we discovered her story earlier. Sharp, 34, was travelling from Las Vegas to Hawaii and had apparently had few drinks too many, resulting in the start of a minor scuffle which soon bloated into her getting questioned by the FBI.
It all started with her abusing the flight attendant, after which she removed her top to expose her breast. She then threw a soda can (with soda in it) at the poor flight attendant, all the while vaping her e-cigarette despite the no smoking rule. Sharp was quickly detained by the FBI upon reaching Hawaii, but she presented a different story.
She told the FBI that the flight attendant was extremely rude to her. That she was just trying to throw the soda can in the trash can, and that it “accidently” hit the attendant. Ohh… and all the other passengers who corroborated the steward story are on it as well… Sigh.
Drunk thief gets stuck in the AC’s vent
Sometimes, when people get drunk, they think they are part of “Ocean’s Eleven.” And that’s not an issue as we ourselves have done it at times. The problem comes when you act on that fantasy, especially when you assume the role of the Chinese acrobat “Yen” from the movie.
A thief from Brazil learned this important lesson the hard way. High on booze and confidence, he decided to rob a departmental store by removing the wall-fitted air conditioner and squeezing in through the vent. But soon panicked when he got stuck in the slot.
With no other option out, he cried for help. Only to have the people tie his leg to the wall to ensure he couldn’t escape, before calling the owner. Surprisingly, the owner of the shop saved the thief from getting lynched. He also refused to press any charges realizing that the thief was drunk and apologetic.
Drunk Student writes to his professor
It’s always a great idea to not use your phone or laptop when you are high on booze. But Patrick Davidson, on a night of extreme alcohol confidence chose to ignore the golden rule, and wrote an email to his professor. Not to his ex, or family, or friends… but his *friggin* professor, that too asking for an extension for his essay. Here is what he wrote:
Luckily for Davidson, Mr. Martin had a great sense of humor and responded appropriately:
Cool professor… But we believe Davidson is just playing russian roulette over here if he continues with his drunk moves further.
Drunk broker who ruined world’s economy… if only for a moment
Imagine waking up in a hungover state to realize that you have shaken the world economy. If you think that it is not possible for an individual, then meet Steve Perkins, a broker who single handedly brought the oil prices up by more than $1.5 per barrel, for the entire world.
Perkins, whose job was to invest his client’s money in oil stocks, was heavily drunk one night when he bought crude oil worth $520 million worth, that’s more than 7 million barrels! The oil prices shot up, so much so that people around the world thought some geo-country phenomenon has occured.
The brokerage company for whom Perkins worked was quickly onto him and asked about his sudden move at 2 AM. Perkins tried to bluff his way out, saying that he bought it on a client’s behest but gave up the ruse and pled guilty when asked for receipts.
The company had to bear $7 million of loss because of his drunken mistake (their annual revenue being $12 million). As for Perkins, his broker license was revoked, a fine of $100k was imposed on him and he was forced to attend alcoholics’ rehabilitation program.
Perkins in a single night had caused the brokers from around the world several million dollars in either profit or loss. All because of a man’s love for alcohol.
Drunk Britisher wakes up in Amsterdam after attending a funeral
Imagine you going to a funeral in England, and end up waking in Amsterdam. Don’t think that’s a possibility? Then ask James O’Kane, who has lived that experience.
That’s right, Kane, 22, got drunk after the funeral and called a taxi at 4 AM to go to the airport and catch the next Amsterdam flight. Kane slept throughout the journey and only woke up when the air hostess announced that they are landing in Amsterdam.
Kane soon realized that he had no money, nowhere to stay, no luggage, no underwear, and not even toothpaste. To add to the woes, he learned that he had bought a return ticket dated three days from his original travel. Stressed about the money and eager to return home, he decided to call his mother, who agreed to pay for the hotel but not for changing the flight to an earlier date.
Kane had no option but to stay in Amsterdam for the three days, wearing the same funeral dress and a pair of flip flops. Though we doubt whether that was a punishment considering it was… Amsterdam.
Drunk man goes to sleep in someone else’s house
We saved the best for the last. A young boy ended up sleeping in a wrong house in Canada, believing it to be his own abode. The “cool as an ice” house owner tries to explain it to him, but is unable to convince him… This being Canada, the polite owner even tells him to crash on the couch. Watch the hilarious video below… and thumbs up for the nicest guy in Canada.